Bush: U.S. on Verge of Energy Breakthrough

President Bush today announced that

"Our nation is on the threshold of new energy technology that I think will startle the American people," Bush said. "We're on the edge of some amazing breakthroughs — breakthroughs all aimed at enhancing our national security and our economic security and the quality of life of the folks who live here in the United States."

His aides then whispered in his ear, "Mr.President, your idea of using the homeless as disposable energy sources probably won't go over with the American public" To which he replied, "Why? There are a lot of them and I'm just fucked on what else to propose" More details to come later.